Keep Me Hanging On
by tay0720
Summary: Rachel reflects on things that happened in Throwdown. Actual dialogue from the episode is used. Rachel/Quinn. Oneshot.


**Keep Me Hanging On**

Many would find it hard to believe that once upon a time, Quinn Fabray and I were what you could consider to be friends. Yes gentle readers, you heard right. I, Rachel Berry, and head Cheerio Quinn Fabray were friends; the best of actually. But that was a very long time ago, and for such a brief period that most people have forgotten entirely. I could never be one of those people, and I know she couldn't be either.

She would never admit it, even under extreme torture conditions, but if you pay close enough attention you can see the short lived flicker of fondness in her eyes when she remembers. I'm also observant enough to recognize the looks she gives me—the ones that speak volumes more than the numerous insults that leave her mouth. The looks that apologize for the poison she and her fellow cheerleaders constantly inject into the vein of those belonging to the less popular crowds of the student body. The ones that say, 'I wish things had turned out differently' and the ones that border on places she wouldn't dare go in her conscious mind.

It's that moment, that minute blip of our shared past that drove me to giving a pair of my undergarments to that revolting little troll. I wanted, _needed_ to protect her from the tidal wave of judgment and ridicule that would surely follow a scandal of this magnitude.

Sure, I could've told Finn about the blackmail plot, but all that would've done was gotten the cyber perv a black eye and Finn a weeks worth of detention or worse. So I handled it on my own and told him after the deed was done. There was no way I could tell Quinn herself, she wouldn't take the time to listen. That's why I'd been trying to get closer with _him_; an effort to hear about what and how _she_ was doing.

The kiss Finn and I shared in the auditorium that afternoon was a mistake. It was also a somewhat selfish (and maybe even borderline stalkerish) act on my part. I don't like him in the romantic sense everyone thinks. Don't get me wrong, he's a very handsome guy—not exactly Einstein, but he tries hard in class and generally means well. In all honesty, he's great. He's just not for me and that, ladies and gentlemen, is where the borderline stalkerish behavior comes into play.

In my sometimes clouded, but mostly sensible brain I thought that by kissing him I was indirectly able to share what I could only dream about with Quinn. And kissing Quinn was what I was thinking about when he came to talk to me between classes.

"So what did you have to do to get him to stop?" he asked me while I was switching my books.

I closed my locker door and began to walk, making sure that he followed.

"Let's just say I feel sorry for my dads because they're probably going to have to dip into my college fund to pay for intensive therapy."

"Whoa, hardcore," he half chuckled, not out of humor.

"I don't mind," I replied, sharing a brief look with him and then turned my sights back on the congested hallway, "I did it to protect you."

"And Quinn."

My head snapped back to him that I was sure I'd caused myself whiplash.

"Of course!"

"Yeah…"

"We're all teammates," I said, not letting him know that I'd really like to be so much more with his pregnant girlfriend. Wow, that sounds extremely creepy.

"Hey, listen I…"

Finn went into his thank you speech, to which I was half heartedly listening. I imagined he would tell Quinn what was going on, she had a right to a heads up after all in case that red headed creep tried to extort her as well. There were so many ways she could take what I had done in order to keep the secret a secret, and with Quinn Fabray one never knew which way it would go. Throw in pregnancy hormones and the results were even more mind boggling.

--

It wasn't at all shocking when my locker door was slammed shut for me and the sight of a very angry Quinn was what I was greeted with. She was always very hostile, even as a child. Queen of the temper tantrums she was.

"Listen here, Treasure Trail, we're about to have a smack down."

I knew she'd come looking for me, but I hadn't adequately prepared for a sneak attack like that, so I figured I had to get out as quickly as possible.

"I don't want to have a confrontation," I said and side stepped her to make my escape.

Unfortunately for me she grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. "Don't play stupid with me, Stubbles. I'm having Finn's baby and you need to back off. I'm asking you as nicely as I possibly can: Leave. Him. Alone." Her hazel eyes burned into me like a branding rod; ah sweet mercy, the effect even a gesture out of rage could do.

"You're right. I-I've helped you not because it's the right thing to do, but because I had romantic ulterior motives." It helped and hurt that she thought I was doing it just to steal Finn from her, but there was no point in correcting her. Not now anyway. "But just so we're clear, you're the one who's cheating." I rolled my eyes and headed towards the stairs, sincerely hoping that I'd get away this time. This extended contact with only her and no other Glee members to act as buffer was making me light headed.

"Excuse me?"

Obviously she wasn't going to let me escape until she felt it was right. It was as if she was the lioness and I was the gazelle. Only today I must have been an injured gazelle since I couldn't get away.

"I have on good authority that you're Sue Sylvester's mole and you can deny it all you want, but I know it's true."

"Well I have no idea what you're talking about," she stepped in front of me, blocking my access to the stairs. Whatever perfume she was wearing was slightly impairing my judgment as it assaulted my senses.

Gently pushing her aside I started climbing to my freedom, "Sue's not on your side, Quinn. She's not on anyone's side but her own. Can you imagine what she's gonna do when she finds out about your situation? She'll probably try and rip off your uniform with her bare hands." Hmm, that was an interesting thought… But I needed to focus on the task at hand and that was getting these thoughts out, hoping she understands the deeper meaning behind them and fleeing the scene. "Right, every time you whisper in her ear you empower her to do more damage to the Glee Club. And right now, Glee Club is all you have. And if I were you, I'd recognize who my true friends are. And I'd practice a little bit more because you obviously have a lot you need to express."

Alright, so maybe the last part was my bravado and arrogance slipping out, but damn it she needed to be brought down a peg.

"Oh you have no idea," she said with a phony smile, acid dripping off every syllable.

She stormed down the stairs and I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

--

The moment I saw her weeping helplessly in Finn's arms, my heart shattered. There was nothing I could do or say that would make things better for her. Even my sacrifice of a part of my dignity had been for nothing in the end. I guess Elphie was right: No good deed goes unpunished.

When Mr. Shue gathered us together to perform a new song we were all a bit unsure of singing with what had just happened. One look at the title, however, made us realize what we had to do. It was like both he and I had said before, in different ways. We only have each other, and we needed to support Quinn now more than ever.

Through out the performance I was sure to tell her, with my eyes only since the lyrics were already saying the obvious, that I'd be here. I wasn't going anywhere and that if she needed me, I would come running.


End file.
